A Conspiracy Unmasked

This past weekend I went home, and being the rebellious person that I am, I planned on skipping my Monday classes so that I could stay with my family a little bit longer. Sunday night I started a new book at eleven o'clock, and I finished it slightly before two in the morning. My mom and I had planned on shopping the next morning, and I was (mostly) awake by nine-ish. So far so good. We left the house, me chattering despite my sore throat and hoarse voice.
All of a sudden my mom pulls into this parking lot and says "We're here." I look around me, not sure exactly where "here" is. All I can see are a lot of cars and the back of a brick building. I remember passing a church just a second ago, and I wonder if I'm meeting someone about my scotland trip, or something else or what? "Mom" I groan. "I can't talk to people. I'm sick and a wreck and I'm wearing that long lumpy polar fleece that you hate." I try to emphasize the sick part by sniffing loudly (well, I'm sure I at least thought of it). She smiled an enigmatic smile, which really should have warned me (but didn't) and I complainingly followed her into the building through a side door. We went up some stairs, and past a lawyer's office, some orthodontists' offices (Been there. Done that. So not going back.), and my mom stopped in front of a door labeled "Quest Diagnostics."
I'm pretty sure my eyes narrowed, and if I was some animal (or even as smart as some animals) I would have bolted for cover then and there. But, being I highly educated human, I merely noted "This isn't the mall." My mom reminded me that I needed to get tested for celiac's as she breezed into the clinic. "I thought you'd do better if you didn't have time to think about it," she commented, as if I needed reminding that the last time I had blood work done I fainted. (Hey, there were extenuating circumstances. I had been reading a book were a girl got sent back to the Middle Ages and almost instantly passed out from a plague. Think lovely thoughts.) I settled moodily into the chair feeling very betrayed.
"Calm down," my mom says. "Remember, last time you said you didn't want to know ahead of time." I said WHAT? Frankly, I have no memory of this admission, and I cannot believe that I would have betrayed myself so. Still, I have no memory of a lot of things that happen to me, so this is not all that unusual. Maybe next time I should have her get it in writing (ink is fine; it doesn't have to be blood. . .oh wait, blood. . .aaahhhh). I really really really hate having blood drawn. As I waited in the (where else) waiting room, I discovered that not only was my mom in on this plan, but my dad and Julia too! If it turns out Kaelen knew about it too I may have to consider moving to Australia.
Well, back we went to The Room, and I glared at my mom and made dire warnings, and she mentioned that I was turning green, and could we please not go down the me-fainting route again. Well, I didn't faint, but I insisted that it was only because the lady was good, and that's not something you can count on. In any cause, I got a Dr. Pepper out of it, and the promise that my mom would actually listen to two of my new favorite songs (she has the bad habit of flipping off all our music in the car). Actually, I suppose her plot was a good idea, but who wouldn't feel a bit miffed when their family places them in a situation of torture instead of shopping?